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You want Irish with that? 21.1.2004
Into a Belfast pub comes Paddy Murphy, looking like he'd
just been run over by a train. His arm is in a sling, his nose
is broken, his face is cut and bruised and he's walking
with a limp.
What happened to you?" asks Sean, the bartender.
"Jamie O'Conner and me had a fight, " says
Paddy.
"That little sod, O'Conner, " says Sean,
"He couldn't do that to you, he must have had something ...
0 Kommentare, 44 Angesehen,
3 Stimmen
,4.41 Gesamtpunktzahl
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pepper 21.1.2004
A man and a woman are riding next to each other in first class
on a plane. The woman sneezes, then takes a tissue and gently
wipes it between her legs. The man isn't sure he saw
what she did and decides he is probably hallucinating.
A few minutes pass. The woman sneezes again. She takes a
tissue and gently wipes it between her legs. The man is about
to go nuts. He can't believe that he's ...
0 Kommentare, 23 Angesehen,
2 Stimmen
,4.50 Gesamtpunktzahl
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luck 21.1.2004
An Irishman who had a little too much to drink is driving
home from the city one night and, of course, his car is weaving
violently all over the road. A cop pulls him over. "So, "
says the cop to the driver, "where have ya been?"
"Why, I've been to the pub of course, "
slurs the drunk.
"Well, " says the cop, "it looks like
you've had quite a few to drink this evening."
"I did all ...
0 Kommentare, 14 Angesehen,
2 Stimmen
,3.81 Gesamtpunktzahl
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Irish vs Jewish Retirement 21.1.2004
The two little old ladies had been very long-time close
friends. But being old-fashioned, each went to a retirement
home of her own respective religion.
It was not long before Mrs. Murphy felt very lonesome for
Mrs. Cohen, so one day she asked to be driven to the Jewish
Home to visit her old friend. When she arrived she was greeted
with open arms, hugs, and kisses. Mrs. Murphy said "Don't ...
0 Kommentare, 9 Angesehen,
2 Stimmen
,2.42 Gesamtpunktzahl
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Quicly... 21.1.2004
Brenda O'Malley is home making dinner, as usual, when
Tim Finnegan arrives at her door. "Brenda, may I come
in?" he asks. "I've somethin' to tell
ya."
"Of course you can come in, you're always welcome,
Tim. But where's my husband?"
"That's what I'm here to be tellin'
ya, Brenda. There was an accident down at the Guinness brewery..."
"Oh, no!" cries Brenda. "Please don't
tell me..."
...
0 Kommentare, 11 Angesehen,
1 Stimmen
,3.70 Gesamtpunktzahl
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married and single 21.1.2004
Why are married women heavier than single women?
Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and
go to bed.
Married women come home, see what's in bed and go to
the fridge.
0 Kommentare, 15 Angesehen,
4 Stimmen
,5.19 Gesamtpunktzahl
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defference 21.1.2004
My husband and I divorced over religious differences.
He thought he was God and I didn't!
0 Kommentare, 9 Angesehen,
1 Stimmen
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I dont know why? 21.1.2004
He said . . .I don't know why you wear a bra; you've
got nothing to put in it.
She said . . . You wear pants don't you?
0 Kommentare, 25 Angesehen,
1 Stimmen
,5.00 Gesamtpunktzahl
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statue 21.1.2004
A pastor walked into a neighborhood pub that was hopping
with music and dancing. Every now and then the lights would
go out followed by an eruption of cheer from the crowd. When
somebody noticed the pastor however, the revelry stopped
and the room got very quiet.
Feeling awkward and out of place, the pastor went to the
bartender and asked, "May I please use the restroom?"
The bartender ...
0 Kommentare, 9 Angesehen,
3 Stimmen
,5.39 Gesamtpunktzahl
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soccer blonde 20.1.2004
A blonde began a job as an elementary school counselor and
she was eager to help. One day during recess she noticed
a girl standing by herself on one side of a playing field
while the rest of the enjoyed a game of soccer at the
other.
The blonde approached and asked if she was all right.
<br>
The girl said she was.
<br>
A little while later, however, Sandy noticed ...
0 Kommentare, 18 Angesehen,
3 Stimmen
,4.90 Gesamtpunktzahl
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Milo 20.1.2004
Why did Milo cross the road?
Because his dick was stuck in the chicken
0 Kommentare, 12 Angesehen,
0 Stimmen
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Your mama 20.1.2004
Your mama is so poor she asked for a discount on pennycandy
0 Kommentare, 4 Angesehen,
2 Stimmen
,5.20 Gesamtpunktzahl
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Three words 20.1.2004
What three words mean small?
<br>
Is it in?
0 Kommentare, 32 Angesehen,
0 Stimmen
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fat 20.1.2004
The bakery called -- they want their rolls back!
0 Kommentare, 15 Angesehen,
0 Stimmen
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how tall is it 20.1.2004
A man was walking down the street and on the corner were 3
drunks trying to raise a telephone pole. They worked and
worked and finally got the thing in the air. Two of of the
drunks held the pole and the other climbed on top. He let
down a a tape measure. This fellow couldn't take it
any more so he asks what they were doing.
They said, ''We are measuring this pole.''
The man asks, ''Why ...
0 Kommentare, 6 Angesehen,
0 Stimmen
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gross 20.1.2004
A pancake that has fallen on the kitchen floor and you are
very hungry for a pancake, but when you pick it up you find
the gooey syrup and the creamy butter have acted like a kind
of flypaper and so your spongey, yummy pancake is covered
in lint, dustmites, a splotch of still-moist mustard from
the night before, a broken match, and of course millions
of squirming, pulsing bacteria. Poor ...
0 Kommentare, 5 Angesehen,
0 Stimmen
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blonde 20.1.2004
What do you give a blonde who has everything?
Penicillin.
0 Kommentare, 3 Angesehen,
2 Stimmen
,0.34 Gesamtpunktzahl
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blondes and computers 20.1.2004
What do blondes and computers have in common?
They both go down!
0 Kommentare, 31 Angesehen,
3 Stimmen
,5.39 Gesamtpunktzahl
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OOOOOOOh and AAAAAaH 20.1.2004
What's the difference between, "Ooooh, "
and "Ahhhh?"
<br>
About three inches.
0 Kommentare, 4 Angesehen,
0 Stimmen
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blonde boating 20.1.2004
There was a blonde driving down the road one day. She glanced
to her right and noticed another blonde sitting in a nearby
field. She was in a boat rowing, with no water in sight. The
blonde angrily pulled her car over and yelled at the rowing
blonde, “What do you think you're doing? It's
things like this that give us blondes a bad name. If I could
swim, I'd come out there and kick ...
0 Kommentare, 12 Angesehen,
2 Stimmen
,2.42 Gesamtpunktzahl
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frog man 20.1.2004
A guy goes into a doctor's office with a frog growing
out of his head.
"Tell me how it started, " says the doctor.
"It started out as a bump on my ass, " says the
frog.
0 Kommentare, 8 Angesehen,
1 Stimmen
,3.70 Gesamtpunktzahl
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more computers 19.1.2004
A Computer was something on TV
From a science fiction show of note
A Window was something you hated to clean
And a Ram was the father of a goat.
<br>
Meg was the name of a girlfriend
And Gig was a job for the nights
Now they all mean different things
And that really Mega Bytes.
<br>
An Application was for employment
A Program was a TV show
A Cursor used ...
0 Kommentare, 13 Angesehen,
0 Stimmen
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Chicks and correllations 19.1.2004
What does a chick and a screendoor have in common?
The more you bang them the looser they get.
<br>
What does a chick and a peanutbutter and jelly sandwich
have in common?
They are always a sticky mess when you peel the apart
<br>
What does a chick and a basketball have in common?
A black guys always got a better shot of filling the hole.
0 Kommentare, 13 Angesehen,
0 Stimmen
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courious old man 17.1.2004
one day an eldery man was sitting on a park bench when a young
came up and sat down next to him, the eldery man
glanced over to notice the youngsters hair, it was multi-colored,
it was orange, red , blue, green, and yellow, the eldery
man kept staring at the youngsters hair. finally the youngster
got alittle aggrevated at the old mans staring and turned
to him and said "Look old man didn't ...
1 Kommentare, 37 Angesehen,
0 Stimmen
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What's first thing Adam said to Eve -- - 17.1.2004
Ya better stand back baby, I donno' how big this thing
gets.
0 Kommentare, 3 Angesehen,
0 Stimmen
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michael jackson 17.1.2004
who did mj rent his neverland ranch to?
catholic church
0 Kommentare, 4 Angesehen,
1 Stimmen
,1.10 Gesamtpunktzahl
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computers Vs Cars 17.1.2004
COMPUTERS AND CARS:
>>
>>For all of us who feel only the deepest love and
affection for the way computers have enhanced our lives,
read on. At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates
reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto
industry and stated, "If GM had kept up with
>>technology like the computer industry has, we
would all be driving $25.00 ...
0 Kommentare, 4 Angesehen,
0 Stimmen
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Stupid Fish Joke 17.1.2004
The other day, while making cookies, my girlfriend "tried"
to tell me a joke... It went like this: "What does a
fish say when it runs into a dam?" "It says 'Ow'"
She doesnt always act as bright as she really is... The joke
she meant to say was: "What does a fish say when it runs
into a cement wall?" "Dam!"
But even in moments like this, she always makes me want her,
a lot...  ...
0 Kommentare, 11 Angesehen,
3 Stimmen
,3.43 Gesamtpunktzahl
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blondes 16.1.2004
what do you call a blonde with pigtails???
<br>
a blowjob with handlebars.
0 Kommentare, 5 Angesehen,
0 Stimmen
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bush 16.1.2004
The other day I mentioned to my senior English class that
President Bush plans to announce a new space initiative,
part of which is establishing a permanent manned base on
the moon.
Immediately one of the students observed, "He probably
wants to drill for oil there."
0 Kommentare, 6 Angesehen,
1 Stimmen
,2.40 Gesamtpunktzahl
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